Mrs. Darcy

I wish it was 1890 and I was in a Henry James novel. I could have puffy skirts and demurely fan myself while eying my future husband across the room. I could carry a monocle since it is unseemly for ladies to wear spectacles in polite society. I could have lace gloves and dainty shoes and a personal maid who would help me dress and do my hair. Perhaps I'd meet a man who I detested but secretly grew to love. I could be swept away and live in splendour, while he kisses my face by candlelight. Maybe life would be easy.

Save the drama for your mama

So my second month in Maine begins with...drama. I wish I could avoid it and just ignore people who talk.

You know when you have people in your life that you wish would just shut up? I have those in abundance. People from Florida, people here in Maine and just people I've met. They find themselves entitled to my attention and always feel that when they go away, I will "miss" them.

Now it may be hard to get through people's heads, but I rarely miss anyone. I miss my parents. That's about as far as I can go. My brain and heart are compartmentalized. Maybe I'm a cold-hearted bitch for that, but it's how I work. If someone moves out of my sphere of life, I move that person into a compartment. I don't miss people very often. I may miss talking to them and their funny stories, but I don't miss the whining or complaining about every little thing that is wrong in their lives.

I guess it's beyond me to care sometimes. Maybe I just have a happy life and I want others to be happy as well. That isn't too much to ask. Right? It's just ridiculous that from every angle I hear blabbering in my ear about troubles, trials and tribulations. I want positivity. Make me miss you. Give me something to work with. I can't really enjoy myself if all I hear is that you are miserable, terrible, hate your fat ass, don't like your options for life etc. etc.

My compartments are small and they click shut with a finality sometimes. I just get fed up with things and I don't re-open them to enjoy your company. Sometimes I just can't. I need variety. I need something other than drama to keep me from losing my mind.

It's getting cold now. Rocktober as Liz would say is upon us. The leaves are changing and it's time to pick apples. My ability to make friends is severely diminished, especially here where I have a history. I miss good quality people, like the ones I had in Florida.